Tuesday, May 19, 2009

wow its been such a long time since i've been here.
i've lost touch with blogging and all.

i don't feel the need to blog anymore.
think i've grown out of that need - the need to publicise my life and daily activities.

so this is goodbye for now :)

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5/19/2009 05:43:00 PM

Sunday, February 22, 2009

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2/22/2009 11:53:00 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2009

wow i haven't felt this peace for a long while.
& it feels gd!

its not related to achievements or satisfaction.
cos i've not achieved anything this week. HAHA

hardly did any work, except a few here and there.
i feel quite stressed for the upcoming weeks & midterms & projects.

but i still feel peaceful and joyful!

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." - Luke 9:23

for the past few days i took up the cross,
and cast my worries behind me.

see how the Lord has given me peace within.
isn't He a great God?

if u call, will He not answer?
if u persist, will He not respond?

im glad that He's in my life again :)

on a separate note, huiting and i love Danny Gokey!!
although unlike HT, i don't cry when he sings.

haha. silly girl.

'hero' is now on my favourites playlist!

& he may/may not be the next american idol,
but he's a true hero!

& im a heroine!
i rescued all the oreo cookies and gave them a warm home in my stomach!

i burp :)

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2/19/2009 11:30:00 PM

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

- Matt 14:29-31

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So do not fear, for I am with you:
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand..

for I myself will help you, declares the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

- Isaiah 41:10-14

---

it's a relief to know that God will catch me immediately when i fall,
and to know that i don't have to be dismayed for He will strengthen me.

because i fall too fast, too far and too often.

it amazes me,
but above all, it leaves me in dismay.

im truly appalled by how sinful human nature can be,
and im convinced that none of us can remain righteous without God.

i can't describe it but its really so hard.
even if u think that u have God in u, u'll still fall, somehow.

u know how they say that sin blocks us from God?

i felt it, more real than ever.
the effect was instant, lasting and depressing.

and all i can do is to come back to the cross.
begging, because i am so weak and poor in spirit.

I need Your grace and mercy.

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1/28/2009 12:15:00 AM

Saturday, January 24, 2009

i thought i'd be filled with a wonderful sense of accomplishment and happiness.

but i was wrong.

after a terribly long day of studying hard, i was confronted with a feeling of emptiness as i lay on the bed.
that has got to be the worst feeling in the world.

i slogged all day and finished all my work,
hoping to feel satisfied, relieved and happy.

i was tired and sleepy,
but above all that my heart, mind and soul felt so terribly empty.

i'd never felt so horrible in my life.
and then i couldn't stop the tears.

and as they fell, i suddenly thought,
why the heck am i crying?!

my mind went blank.
and i thought to myself, i have no freaking idea why im crying.

it's days like these that make me think im getting old and cranky.
2009: im hitting 20!

but above all,
it's days like these that reunite me with the Lord.

i always tell myself,
i want to study hard, get good grades and earn money to glorify God.
but who am i kidding?

99% of the time i just want good grades so that i will look smart and have a good portfolio to get a good job and earn lots of money to buy a big house and pretty cars.

99% of the time, God is not in the picture.

it's hard.

but after that terrible and emotional night,
i realised and felt certain things which i've never truly understood before.

it is so true that money can't buy everything.
money can't buy happiness.

success and accomplishments can only bring u so far.
after a hard day's work, i still felt empty.

it came as a huge shock to me, and i guess it threw me overboard for a little while.

but i've straightened out some thoughts.
obviously i will pursue good grades, career and etc in the future,
but all i really want is just to go home to a loving family every single day of my life.

i don't want to feel empty.
so i invite the Lord to fill my life once again and to make me whole.

in any areas of my heart and life that are void,
i ask Him to fill it with His all-consuming fire.

in anything which i feel im lacking in,
i ask that He grant me wisdom to recognise that His grace is sufficient for me.

for this is what He has promised:

'neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God.'

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1/24/2009 11:32:00 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2009

the stillness of the night.
the cool breeze.
the fresh air.
the pounding of my heart.
the strength in my legs.
the pretty pink flowers.
the ever-faithful shadow.

as i ran, i couldn't help but feel a sense of overwhelming joy and peace.

i knew He was with me.
always was, always is, always will be.
every step, every stride, every leap.

i know im back in His everlasting arms, and i never want to leave this place of comfort.

this joy, this peace,
it's indescribable, it's uncontainable.

i want to keep it and never give it away, for anything in the world.

to love Him, worship Him, glorify Him.
with all my heart, soul and strength.

im in his grace, and life is beautiful.

:)

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1/18/2009 11:03:00 PM

Thursday, January 01, 2009

my new yr resolution?

just study and stop whining abt what i can't have.

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1/01/2009 11:04:00 PM